So, shortly after visiting our hazelnut, Arena found them teeming in the understory of a nearby forested trail. We went with her to visit them, and there were at least 100 beaked hazelnut shrubs. We searched and searched for nuts. We found about six total. Arena distinctly remembered leaving a shrub with seven on it, but the squirrels had gotten them in the interum. Most of the six we found were shriveled and a bit dry, but a few were as fantastic as the one we tasted at home. It seems that though beaked hazelnuts can be found here, they produce very few nuts, and most of those go to the local squirrels.
Oh, and the amazing hazelnut bush, Thag's dad reports near his house--turns out it is a black walnut.